If you are DMing someone in their first game of Dungeons & Dragons, and their PC would be killed outright by a bad roll of dice 30 minutes in, do you fudge the roll so the PC lives, or let the PC die? #dnd
— Merric Blackman (@MerricB) February 19, 2020
What was discussed about death in session zero? If it’s a one shot / con game, did we outline potential lethality and what happens if a PC dies at the start of the game? Are they a kid or an adult? And: Do we as the DM believe death would enhance or compromise their enjoyment? This is important. ^
More data required.
— Dan Dillon 👥 (@Dan_Dillon_1) February 20, 2020
Hell no! They need to see the game is challenging and that death will be a very common occurrence!
Not a universal truth – MANY tables prefer precisely the opposite, and want the game to be a relaxing power fantasy and for death to be very rare.
One of the absolute worst things a DM can possibly do is force their playstyle on a brand new player. It’s not just arrogant, it’s toxic and self destructive.
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If you sit your player down before you start playing and give them fair warning about how you choose to run your table, and they’re on board with your style? Great! Go nuts! They made an informed decision and know what they’re doing.
But if you catch a total newbie off-guard with your playstyle, causing them disappointment and frustration because “they need to see the game is challenging and that death will be a very common occurence”, you’re not just being an asshole toward your new player, and also risking alienating them from the entire D&D hobby and community as a whole.
If you blindside someone with your bullshit “Tough it up, cupcake!” attitude and they have a miserable time, they might never want to play the game again, despite the fact that there are countless other groups they could play with who would happily give them the “easy” experience they’d actually prefer.
As DM, your entire job is to make sure everyone at your table has fun. If they don’t, you fucked up somewhere and need to rethink your choices.
If you don’t respect and care for your players, you are a failure as a DM.