A GUIDE To COOKING FLUMPH TENTACLES

LIGHTER. A .T SLIMY, SIMILAR To FRUITY cALAMARI OR SHRIMP 1771′
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FIRST, YOU MUST PREPARE YOUR FLUMPH TENTACLE*. THIS IS AN EASY PROCESS AS FLumpHs DON’T HAVE BONES.
FLAVOUR BREAKDOWN

REMOVE THE THORNS FROM THE
TENTACLES. THIS CAN BE DONE BY PLUCKING THEM 4 MANUALLY, USING GLOVES. YOUR FLUMPH IS NOW READY TO COOK**, TRADITIONALLY,BOILED IT’S BOILED IN AROMATIC () FLUMPH ON WATER. A BED OF SEAWEED, SERVED WITH ANISE RICE.
_ * REMEMBER TO GET YOUR FLUMPH FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE. DUE TO FLUMPHS’ INTELLIGENCE, THEY CAN AGREE TO BE USED IN COOKING AFTER DEATH (SIMILAR TO HUMANS DONATING ORGANS). FLUMPH -FARMERS- ARE REQUIRED TO KEEP A RECORD OF THE CONVERSATION, SO ASK TO SEE IT IF YOU’RE WORRIED.
** FLUMPH COOKS QUICKLY (5-10 MINUTES IN BOILING WATER), SO KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT.
I can’t properly express how much I hate this. It is very wrong.

— Alphastream (@Alphastream) October 9, 2021

And here I thought you were a fan of all aberrations! Outrage!! 🙂

— Alphastream (@Alphastream) October 10, 2021