I was curious if there are any particular wedding customs that might be common within the FR, especially the Sword Coast.
In our almost 2 year long campaign we are trying to figure out what a wedding between two of the characters would be. To be more specific it would be between a noble forest gnome (previously half-elf) and noble half-dragon (previously elf) without either one having any strong connections to any deity.
So my interests lies more in possible traditions/customs of the wedding ceremony itself.— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
1)
Half-elf, gnome, and halfling weddings tend to be far more free-form (partners “craft their own”) than the ceremonies of other races, particularly when there isn’t strong deity or clan/family representation, so the key parts… 2)
…of it will be:
A processional to the place of the ceremony, ideally a woodland glade or streambank, but failing that, under a tree. Whoever is officiating sings the couple in, separately, or stands with a singer if the…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
3)
…officiant can’t sing or the couple wants someone else to sing (often, a family member or mentor). If the union is between male and female, male approaches (is sung in) first, then female; if same-gender, older is sung in… 4)
…first, UNLESS the couple wants unison. Dress as they please, veils not a thing for these races, face towards/watch each other during the second approach.
The singing is known as a “calling song,” and there are both traditional…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
5)
…songs and newly-written ones; it’s common to rewrite and personalize the lyrics.
When the couple-to-be are standing face to face, the officiant calls on any audience to witness the union, or speak against it (the only socially… 6)
…acceptable reason to do so is if the clan/realm of one or both of the couple-to-be only recognizes one marriage at a time to a person, and someone in the audience believes one or both are still married to someone else; there…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
7)
…are tales of that “someone else” being in the audience and uttering a challenge at this time).
Absent any objection, the officiant delivers a very brief “sermon” that talks about the purpose/benefits of a union, and loyalty to… 8)
…it, and how loves grows within it if the couple work at it [if religious part of a wedding is strong, this is where the advice/commandments/views of the deities involved are uttered]. Then the older member of the couple-to-be…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
9)
…is asked to speak to the person they’re going to wed, to make any promises they wish to, and profess their love (they sometimes say why the other person caught their eye and then won their heart, but this is entirely a… 10)
…personal speech, its form and content not dictated by tradition).
Then the younger member does the same thing, UNLESS the couple-to-be have decided beforehand on “younger first.”
Then the officiant calls again on everyone…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
11)
…watching, and “all the gods” and “any spirits of this place” to witness the union, and the couple-to-be put bodily fluids on their left palms, and raise them vertically to touch each other (any sort of bodily fluid, but it’s… 12)
…usually spittle unless one of the couple-to-be is moved to tears, which will be used instead). They hold them firmly together as the officiant chants an ancient good-luck charm, in Thorass (it’s NOT deity-specific, but…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
13)
…sounds like a prayer), and the couple embrace and kiss. They may exchange tokens (such as rings) at this time, or not, and half-elves have a custom of putting a token in their own mouths and kissing their new partner to… 14)
…transfer it into their mouth, but this is optional, and of course assumes the tokens are safe for such handling (i.e. not needles or blades).
And that’s it.
Traditional followups to the ceremony are dancing with music, that…#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021
15)
…leads to a feast, followed by the couple going somewhere private to consummate and do a “first thing” together: plant a seed, go to a shared favorite place, or even undertake an expedition or quest.#Realmslore— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 2, 2021