1)
“WOLF! Why, you INSOLENT—”
“Julthoon, in the name of Paerlus, create utter magical silence around the King, that moves with him, and affects no other creature. Let him be able to hear through it perfectly, but no utterance or…#epicfantasy 2)
…sound he seeks to make by other means escape it, to reach any creature.”
[DONE.]
“That command was very specifically worded, Wolf.”
“When you’ve dealt with merchants for as long as I have…”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 24, 2019
They came in glee to slay the King, but were greeted by a croaking groan,
“Will you not your rightful monarch embrace?”
And beheld on that throne a thing scabrous and unknown
That lacked both name and face— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 20, 2019
He was the sort of emperor who reveled in the glisteningly-lubricated coils of ever-deeper depravity
But when we tossed him off the roof, found out he lacked time to repeal the inconvenient law of gravity— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 21, 2019
O she was a famous adventuress, no dragon nor wyvern dared to try to dine upon her
But when she swam in the shark pool, we saw blood, but the rest of her bits soon quite gone were— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 22, 2019
A rogue (not to say thief) is a sly swiftwit who for every deadly occasion
Is backstabbingly, stealthily, cunningly ready with just the right suitable evasion— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 24, 2019
1)
“Gods SPIT, and CESS! In the name of Paerlus!”
[OH, ALL RIGHT. DONE.]
And just as the invaders launch a furious charge across the chamber at Wolf, the Julthoon glows its pulsing, vivid sapphire hue.#epicfantasy 2)
And the dagger lying on Wolf’s palm rises into the air and darts into the right eyeball of the foremost soldier, then slides messily back out to arc around that stumbling man and into the left eyeball of the soldier right…#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 25, 2019
3)
…behind him. Then out again to serve the third soldier the same way. By then, the fourth and fifth are turning to run.
As their fellows crash to the stone floor untidily, their dying squalls ending in bloody bubbles 4)
“Why the glare, Chant?”
“So you DID have a poisoned dagger hidden on you, Wolf.”
“But of course. Courtier, remember?”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 25, 2019
He was the sort of fool not at all rare
Who when hearing of adventure or dare
Beamed as his chest got the swells
And that is why
His bones now lie
Somewhere deep in the hotter districts of the Nine Hells— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 17, 2019
Her chamber heard so many nightly pantings and sighs
That her servants concluded lust was one of her faults
But when the Castle Witch broke the magic that made guests rise
Every night to the royal tower, much fun came to many abrupt halts— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 18, 2019
With his blade he spilled much spleen, out of wounds fresh and obscene
In many a gory mess that was a sickening sight
But once a year all his gutless victims rise and appear
And chase him (emptily) all that long and terrible night— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 20, 2019
Oh. Er, but if I’m being silent, what shall I DO?”
“Watch, listen, and learn. As your courtiers and commoners do.”
“But…but won’t that mean I’m being like them? Rather than exceptional? ROYAL?”#epicfantasy 2)
{sigh} “It’s like minding a wilful child. Elvar, all you have to do is watch, listen, and learn EXCEPTIONALLY.”
“Oh. And, er, what should I be thinking, as I observe?”
“The same thoughts you always have: Amuse Us, peasants.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 20, 2019
3)
“Ah. I can manage THAT.”
“Of COURSE you can, Elvar. You’ve been doing it for years. With my help, of course.”
{sigh} “Oh, WOLF.”
“Yes, Chant? Why the hard stare? What are you looking at?”#epicfantasy 4)
“Your soul, Wolf. Or rather, the barren, dark place where it should be.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 20, 2019
1)
“Lord Wolf?”
“Yes, Palonder?”
“I heard metal ringing off rock. Very briefly, as if someone’s sword struck a passage wall while they were moving. In haste, towards us. From somewhere distant, off that way.”
“Ah. Our reminder.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 21, 2019
2)
[OF THE PRESENCE OF INVADERS, DOWN HERE?]
“Of the fact that we have unfinished business: The saving of the kingdom.”
“How is that different from every other day of a courtier’s life, Wolf?”#epicfantasy 3)
“Usually we courtiers can airily order others to go and fight and die in distant corners of the realm to save it. This time, we have to do the fighting, right here, in this particular distant corner of the realm.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 21, 2019
4)
“Rather careless of you to let this happen, Wolf.”
“Elvar, didn’t you just agree to watch, listen, and learn IN SILENCE?”
“Yes, but it isn’t WORKING! I can’t feel myself learning ANYTHING! 5)
“Worry not, Elvar. You’re a king, remember? Sometimes, for kings to learn things, it takes YEARS.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 21, 2019
1)
“That’ll do! We can settle scores when I’m back on my throne, IN the Castle, with the usual sumptuous feasts being served to me, and nothing to concern me but my usual diversions! So let’s return to that RAPIDLY!”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 20, 2019
2)
“Agreed, Elvar. So shut your gibbering maw, and things will hasten quite a bit.”
“WHAT? Did you just tell me to shut up?”
“Yes. In the interests of speed.”
“But…but my feelings! And the respect due to royalty!” 3)
“I don't give a donkey’s left testicle about the respect due to royalty. As you may just have grasped, if you’ve mustered all your wits to the here and now for once.”
“Are you insulting me?”
“No, Elvar. Why bother?”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 20, 2019
1)
“But—”
“With all due respect, Your Majesty, pray fall silent and LISTEN to Wolf. I don’t think we’ve much time before whoever made that sound—an ‘I have a sword drawn’ sound, REMEMBER?—gets here.”
“Well said, Chant!”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 22, 2019
2)
“Oh, DON’T encourage her. But do listen, everyone. Julthoon, I command you: quench your radiance!”
[DONE.]
“Uh…it’s very dark.”
“Elvar, THANK you for being a King.”
“Eh?”#epicfantasy 3)
“When you have a king along, you always have someone to point out the dunderheadedly obvious.”#epicfantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) December 22, 2019
