1)
“Sire, may I present better clothing than you at present, er, enjoy?”
“My thanks. Spoken like a true dung-spewing courtier, may I add. Though the daggers seem to be missing from these two sheaths.”
“Er, you’re a king.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 28, 2019

2)
“I’m THE King. Which means I’m allowed to have and handle sharp objects. In daylight, and under supervision.”
“Er…Wolf?”
“Give him the daggers, Palonder. You don’t want to travel with a pouting king, believe me.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 28, 2019

This end of the castle has a pronounced reek
For here the monsters dwell
And when adventures are bitten, they tend to leak
On their swift and painful road to Hell

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 22, 2019

A dragon necessarily devours much
But dreams of meat that’s tender
Which is why it prefers such
Young maidens of softly feminine gender

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 23, 2019

A wizard of spells unsurpassed
Will sooner or later get caught in a magical blast
Hurled by another mage of powers sufficiently vast
Yon first wizard to blinkingly flabbergast

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 24, 2019

1)
“But Wolf, this mill is a happening place! Here we have all the fun, and action, a steady supply of arriving victims with coins to be relieved of…seriously, why go elsewhere?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 24, 2019

3)
2)
“The place isn’t defensible and IS flammable, brigands are most of the arrivals, Vornra is our hostess, and I could go on but I haven’t time; I’m too busy ESCAPING!”
“But—”#epic fantasy “Not NOW, Chant. If we can get out in time, we’ll still be ALIVE to argue, and you can chew my ears off then.”
“But I’m a courtier too, and I want to chew your ears off NOW. And I’m NOT slipping and sliding through THAT.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 24, 2019

4)
“What?”
“The red goo that very recently used to be all those brigands!”
“As you’ve just pointed out, Chant, you’re a courtier of the Castle. Courtiers leave behind all fastidiousness. …#epic fantasy 5)
Or did you somehow manage to duck all of your assigned Royal Bumwiping duties?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 24, 2019

1)
“My captives are not toys. Unless I want them to be. Right now, no. You owe me, and I mean to collect.”
“Er…I’ve nothing with me at the moment.”
“I can see that. Perhaps your servant…oh.”
“OH. Where’d he go?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 16, 2019

2)
“The younger one you were giving orders to? Opened that wall panel and slipped through it. And the other bare Lady with him.”
“Chantratha? By the gods, she must be insatiable!”#epic fantasy3)
“Oh, neither of them looked amorous.”
“Just stark naked and slipping off somewhere private together.”
“Er. Point.”
“Score early, score often.”
“You seeking to father a dynasty, or something?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 16, 2019

1)
“Vornra, we haven’t a coin to rub against another, let alone to give to you. So if you’re going to insist on payment, we’ll just take these off again. There’ll be surplus clothing available in a moment or three.”
“Oh?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 21, 2019

2)
“Oh, yes. Dead brigands have no need of clothing.”
“Was that a threat, crossdresser?”
“Not at all. There’s no point in offering any sort of threat in the presence of Lady Vornra, the King, and Lord Wolf. I can’t hope to come…#epic fantasy 3)
…close to the threats they can casually ladle out.”
“Well, I haven’t heard any, so you—King—come with us, or we’ll start breaking fingers. Kings don’t need fingers.”
“Sure they do. They have to sign things for you. So best to…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 21, 2019

4)
…leave the fingers on his writing hand.”
“Oh. Good point. Which hand does he write with?”
“I write with BOTH of them!”
“You do?”
“Of course. All kings do.”
“They do?”
“Bah! He’s lying!”
“All kings do.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 21, 2019

For marauding monsters, pouncing on and devouring the defenseless can become a bore
And that’s what bold and valiant but hapless adventurers were created for

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 19, 2019

Let me one last bold adventure endeavor
To loot treasure vaults every night, from now to forever

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 20, 2019

From every monster ravenous and tentacled, that crawls
many-fanged and hungrily carnivorous
May whatever gods there be
When they’ve finished at our pratfalls
Giggling in glee
Deign to deliver us

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 21, 2019

1)
Past the poisoned door lies the killing floor
Where scores of adventurers have died
As many a lurking trap closes with a snap
On vulnerable limbs that then get fried

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 20, 2019

2)
And yet if you incautiously venture there
You’ll find no corpses at which to stare
For such remains down handy trapdoors get tipped
Into a deep and waiting crypt
For the dragon believes in a tidy lair

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 20, 2019

Adventurers, red and raw
Dangle from its lanthorn jaw
It prefers young, not yet wizened wizards, preferably stewed
For meat without metal armor is more quietly chewed

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 17, 2019

A wise king in silent stealth ups and goes
And decadent wallowing in luxuries he abruptly ends
The day his capable and determined foes
Outnumber his fawning fairweather friends

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 17, 2019

Behold yon eerily flickering magical gate
With its magical smoke plumes swirly
Through it I toss foes implacable or irate
I believe in clearing away irritants early

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) April 18, 2019