1)
“Only six shelves left in the royal crypt, my Lord.”
“I have in fact noticed this, Eruld.”
“Er, what I mean is, ah, what happens when they’re all full?”
“Time to dig out a new room. Or overthrow the realm. Or toss out the old…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 9, 2018

3)
“YES!”
“Ah, a traditionalist. Doomed to fight a losing retreat against inevitable change for the rest of your days. Well, it’s steady work. If you don’t mind futility.”
“That’s…terribly depressing, Lord.”
“LIFE is terribly… #epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 9, 2018

5)
depressing, Eruld. It unfolds better if you just don’t think about it. Then, each new disaster that hits you can at least be a surprise.”
“Are you a cynic, Lord?”
“I prefer the term ‘realist.’ Less judgemental.”
“That’s…dark.”#epic fantasy “Ah, fashion terms! Well done, Eruld, cleave to them. As for me, I try to sharpen my wit more often than my blade.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 9, 2018

1)
“There were seven kings, and they each had seven sons, and so—”
“Yes, yes, I’ve HEARD the tale. The entire WORLD has heard the tale. The thing is, all those kings AND their princes are dead, yes? After all these years?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 7, 2018

2)
“Oh? And you know this to be true HOW, precisely?”
“Well, it’s been two centuries now! Stands to reason…”
“Ho-ho-HOLD hard, there! You’re applying REASON to a prophecy? What’re you drinking? Because I want some!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 7, 2018

With a dozen pillaged villages burning brightly (light up the nightly) below me
And a dozen mortally-wounded dragons raising a feeble dying roar
Here I sit on this bald peak
New targets for to seek
O being the mightiest
Is a crashing great bore

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 1, 2018

O bards their prophecies gleefully sing
Lovingly describing much horrible doom
Mutilations and violations vivid do ring
Until wizard’s spell sends bards skyward with a loud BOOM

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 4, 2018

1)
“The dragon? This way. Around that bend you’ll see a cavemouth carved like a gaping fanged mouth; THAT’S the way in!”
“But the smoke’s coming from up there. Isn’t that a back way in?”
“If you want to suffocate in the… #epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 25, 2019

3)
…dragon’s smoke and then have your lifeless body fall from a great height to shatter on the cavern floor, yes. Otherwise, no.”
“Ah. Thanks. Right, the scary cavemouth it is, then.”
“Best of luck.”
“Thank you. I have a feeling…#epic fantasy I’ll need it. I’ll just—EEEEAAAAGH!”
“The teeter trap?”
“The teeter trap.”
“Just of curiosity, why don’t you disable all of the dragon’s outside traps?”
“Because there is no dragon, anymore. Died years ago. But the tourist…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 25, 2019

5)
…traffic in dragonslaying adventurers is what this town is BUILT on, lad. So excuse me, I have to go hide his body and reset the trap. Then take the secret door to go stoke the fire, or the dragonsmoke will fade away. And we…#epic fantasy can’t have that. As the dragon said—his last words, they were—economic imperatives must rule, or we all starve. Words to live by. Or in this case, die by.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 25, 2019

My blade I sank deep and often into its side
As down castle stair we bloody-battered did slide
And every valiant courtier did cower and hide
They’d done their quotas of dying dragon ride
Thank you very much, they’d say, but they lied

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 18, 2019

They sought her death, oh yes, she heard clearly what those bold adventurers did say
But she lay still and silent, wings furled, tail coiled, and soon their torches went away

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 19, 2019

Boast not of your valor at the battle we won
Let me hear no demand of the King for a promotion and gold
For the warriors who fell to see your victory done
Still lie on the battlefield, forever silent, scarcely cold

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 20, 2019

The castle is full of risen ghosts tonight
Restlessly they clank, shriek, and glide, and moan
And I know not how to set them right
For I know not which of all these bones they rightly own

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 12, 2019

The magic one hath read about
And likely was slyly misled about
In one respect remains unchanging and intact
Though secret after secret hath been cracked
Magic can still kill you in a half a shriek, and that’s a fact

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 12, 2019

1)
Though no one should need reminding
Some folk seem to still be surprised at finding
That adventuring isn’t a game

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 13, 2019

2)
Last night, mighty wizard disappeared
And came back with tentacles, scales, and no beard
And a few fools thought it was really him, just the same!

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 13, 2019

“Behold! The SWORD! I have drawn the sword from the stone, so I am the rightful—urrrghhkk!”
[thud]
“HURRY, Glaztern! Put the sword back and drag his body over the edge, into the ravine! I see more idiot rightful kings coming!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 25, 2019

Hail and woe, untrustworthy and drunken sot
For I warned thee thrice, but see that ye mark me not

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 25, 2019

Dead wizard chuckles in the deeps of his tomb
For he knows the traps waiting deadly in the gloom
And another band of adventurers at his threshold stands
More for his collection of victims, that ever expands

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 26, 2019

1)
“What’s that?”
“Not a fish, so not interested. They only pay me for fish, so—”
“It’s a BARREL! Row over there and let me wrap it in the spare net, and we can tow it!”
“TOW it? YOU row! It’ll be like pulling THREE boats!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 17, 2019

3)
“What do you want with an old waterlogged barrel, anyhow?”
“It could be full of wine! Brandy! Whisky! Or a dwarf or a halfling, like in the stories!”
“Hmmph. I’VE heard roast dwarf gives you gas. And halflings are stringy.” “Well, aren’t YOU the sudden gourmand? All right, we SELL the dwarf or halfling in the meat market, then. But if it’s booze, I’m keeping it!”
“Hold on. Half and half.”
“Only if we go half and half on the rowing.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 17, 2019

4)
“Gods, you drive hard bargains. All right. Hold on, are barrels supposed to have tentacles jutting out of them?”
“WHAT? Row! ROW!”
{glub}#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) January 17, 2019