1)
“You the King’s Champion?”
“I am, my good man. Why do you ask?”
“Two-headed poison-fanged giant outside wants to know. Can’t miss him; twenty feet tall and waving a club the size of a spitted ox.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 29, 2018

3)
“And you didn’t tell him I’m on vacation? Pray convey to him that in such situations, all requests for personal combat should be referred to the King personally.”
“Oh?”#epic fantasy “Indeed. Can’t miss him; four feet tall, sitting on a twenty-TWO-feet tall golden throne, behind the bodyguard of six archers, eight knights in chromed coat-of-plate, and six wizards with wands at the ready. …#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 29, 2018

4)
Oh, I forgot. And air support. A dragon circling overhead. By the time he’s finished dealing with them, I should be back from vacation and happy to entertain his challenge in person.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 29, 2018

Wizard dreams a dark dream
Sees evil skulllord’s scheme
Seek revenge for wizard’s banishment
And resolves to start
Casting spells with a wyvern’s heart
That will accomplish skulllord vanishment

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 28, 2018

Harken to the warhorn, calling deep
Those it musters oft death do find
Their grieving kin do sorely mind
As on uncaring ground forever sleep

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 29, 2018

Over the river and through the wood
To the dark dragon’s den we go
For the bards have always made it understood
That from it plentiful golden rivers of treasure flow

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 29, 2018

1)
We all look on with anxious eyes
When the priest drives in the stake
And the vampire jerks, and glares, then sighs
As its hands the air doth feebly rake

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 27, 2018

3)
2)
Eerily and stiffly it begins to rise
And we begin to fear we’ve muffed its demise
And it will yet unleash some nasty surprise
When the priest drives in the stake But no, its revival falters, and we revise
Our dark apprehension, think ourselves after all not so unwise
As the dread dark weight of incipient doom away flies
When the priest drives in that stake

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 27, 2018

1)
“Zamruel, where did all these DOORS come from? And for that matter, the wall around them? This used to be a big vaulted hall, as I recall.”
“You recall correctly, my King. It was, in fact, a large vaulted area this morning, …#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 5, 2018

3)
… …when last I walked through it. And the Palace carpenters may be many things, but ‘fast’ and ‘quiet’ are not, in my experience, among those things. Let me just open this door, and {euooblupp!}”
“Ah. A wall-sized mimic. THANK you, Zamruel. Prendur? PRENDUR? Ah. THERE you are. Go and get some guards and have them kill this mimic for me, will you? And when you salvage whatever’s left of Zamruel, have it sent to his widow…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 5, 2018

4)
…tastefully wrapped, with a card giving her the next available opening in the North Crypt burial schedule. WHAT a busy morning. If I’m not careful, my eleven-bells tea WILL get cold. WHAT is this world coming to?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 5, 2018

1)
“The warhorn! My armor, QUICK!”
“Yes, Highness! HERE!”
“No, no, idiot, my FIGHTING armor! That’s my posing in bedchambers and going dancing armor! Ever seen a REAL Princess going to war with her boobs and belly bared?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 25, 2018

2)
“Well, ah, yes, actually—”
“A LIVE one?”
“Er, no.”
“Exactly. Now keep your fingers on the latches and catches, lout. I KNOW how this goes on.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 25, 2018

Now the conquering dragon comes
With a satisfied purring of flame
Amused at the distant thud of warning drums
That to cowering humans proclaim
The coming of the death, and the deathbringer’s fame

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 25, 2018

The knight fell down the stairs at noon
Into his back, a big broadsword was stuck
The king says we’ll find the culprit soon
From the trail of blood and some luck

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 16, 2018

1)
Before you yield to your growing desire
You should be aware that I’m a vampire
Who right now is growing increasingly vexed
That so many adventurers are making me their next

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 16, 2018

2)
Kill on their bucket list of monsters to show the door
Yet on the other hand I must confess to you
I have moments of bored ennui, when I’m very blue
And ask myself what am I still fanging all the walking bloodbags for

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 16, 2018

Dragons, they say, of each other are deeply jealous
Humans are worse, and such deceivers that only a rare few are as they seem
And the only truth that even sages tell us
Is that hope and pleasure wash away like a leaf floating in a stream

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 10, 2018

The wizard had a wild dream
(Well, it was more of a scheme)
Of forging a team
All monsters to slay or banish
But when to he made a start
Of explaining the team’s part
In the realm, the room flew apart
And a smiling monster made the king vanish

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) November 10, 2018

1)
“For whosoever pulls yon sword from the stone shall henceforth be rightful King of all—”
“Wait a bit, now, wait a bit! Why can’t it be a lass, who can reign as rightful QUEEN? Where’d that wording come from?”
“The gods.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

3)
“Oh? What’d they look like?”
“What?”?
“If the gods told you the screed about the sword, you must’ve met them, yes?”
“No! I’ve never seen a god. Knowingly, at least.”
“Well, then, I ask again: where did the wording come from?”#epic fantasy “I…it…the high priest told me.”
“A man, right?”
“Yes.”
“A man is not a god.”
“Er, yes.”
“So where’d HE get the wording from?”
“From the gods, presumably.”
“PRESUMABLY. Let’s go ask him.”
“Why?”
“Well, priests sell holy water, yes?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

5)
“Yes.”
“Well, that makes him a merchant, and if he’s anything like the merchants I deal with every day, you can’t trust ONE WORD out of their mouths. I’d like to hear the exact wording he had from the gods.”#epic fantasy “And if he can’t remember it?”
“Then it’s no better than anything you, I, or the nearest drunken bard can make up. Which I suspect is how we get a lot of the weird prophecies I hear. Hell of a way to guide societies.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018