The dead in cold earth bedded
Into the next battle we go marching on
And lest I should get beheaded
I’ll put some dead man’s war-helm on

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 26, 2018

The breaking waves dashed high
On a stern and rockbound coast
A night no tavern-cozy hero would die
The sort old venturers love the most

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 27, 2018

Look for the telltale gleam of gold
For of old, this was a great dwarf-hold
Though long ago they all passed away
And where dwarves are gone, it seems, nothing gold can stay

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 28, 2018

1)
“What is THAT?”
“Your contest, Majesty? That’s the entry from Port Tlabbar.”
“Port Tlabbar? But they hate me there! Three rebellions this decade, and a fourth brewing!”
“And that’s why we’ve had it set up over there, right…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

3)
“NO ONE OF CONSEQUENCE? That’s MY reviewing stand! I’ll be sitting there! And the Queen, too, if it’s not her knitting morning!”
next to the reviewing stand. So when whatever nasty little surprise they’ve prepared makes it blow up, the blast and the poison gas or dust or what-all that’s released in that explosion will hurt no one of consequence.”#epic fantasy “Yes, yes, Majesty, but that’s the FAKE reviewing stand. So the Tlabbans would set their…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

5)
…monument up where we wanted them to. We’ll be erecting the real one on the morrow. Majesty, we’ve thought of everything.”
“So do the Tlabbans. When you set up the reviewing stand, … make sure they haven’t snuck their REAL nasty surprise into it. And left their fake one yonder. In that, er, STRIKING monument. Hmmm. Does my bottom really look like that?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

Yon dragon’s a vegetarian beast
Whose diet doesn’t let him keep human friends long
He’s talking with the latest chained slavey, a-shivering in gravy
They prepared because she got his favorites wrong
Eating her doesn’t interest him in the least

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 14, 2018

And then did that too-haughty queen
Spurn the pheasant, but filled her bowl with quail
And drank down the wine, deep and green
That I’d concocted from arsenic and ale

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 14, 2018

One potion makes you healthy
But the next one makes you crawl
And the ones the kindly priests give you
Do nothing to help at all
Yet it really doesn’t matter; one day, we’re all going to fall

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 15, 2018

1)
“A lovely painting, Your Majesty. It has a certain texture, a LAMBENCE, that all the other paintings in the Palace lack.”
“Indeed. It’s a one of a kind.”
“The painter’s dead?”
“No, he flourishes in our dungeons still.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 14, 2018

3)
… “Oh. He paints no more?”
“Not on the skin of princes. You see, I’ve run out of traitor sons. Or any sons. Unless you know who the mysterious Hidden Bastard is. He’s supposed to be hidden right here in the Palace. …#epic fantasy One of the Great Palace Mysteries.”
“Ah. Yes. Well. I believe I CAN enlighten Your Majesty on that particular matter. Does this blade feel familiar, perchance, as it slides through your heart?”
“Iiiiiiiiieeukyukuglugluckhh!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 14, 2018

5)
“Eloquently put. Yes, it’s the dagger of my mother, whom you regrettably strangled after she sought to defend the Queen against you. You foully murdered them both. Revenge is a bitch, is it not?”
“I dieeeeeeeee!”#epic fantasy “Many years too late. Tell me, what did you use THEIR skins for?”
“Urrkh.”
“Damn. Left it too late, to ask him. There’s simply no end to the Great Palace Mysteries.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 14, 2018

1)
“Aldred! Come quick! There’s someone in the North Tower!”
“Oh? Who?”
“A man with a spear. Stuck his head out—no lantern—and made a rude gesture at me.”
“THIS gesture?”
“Yes.”
“Uh-huh. Carry on. That was just the ghost.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 23, 2018

3)
“We have a GHOST? And no one TOLD ME?”
“We LIKE you, Aldred.”
“Well, uh, thanks…but, ah, what does that have to do with it?”
“And, liking you, we wanted to enhance your life experience. By adding suspense, in this case.”#epic fantasy “Suspense? I got a horrid fright!”
“And lived to bitch about it. See? Enriching. The ghost likes you, too.”
“WHAT? And just how d’you know THAT?”
“You got the gesture. Not the bone-chilling spectral spear up your behind.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 23, 2018

1)
Oh! Sorry! That dying shriek, just now, my decaying memory has jogged
Whilst I go and sort dripping body parts into the right bins on yon shelves

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

2)
I’m supposed to warn you there’ll be a short break while the minions are flogged
So by all means flee wildly, mount vain escape attempts, and shriek amongst yourselves

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 20, 2018

The year has turned its circle
The adventurers come and go
The tombs now all yawn open
And forth the cold ghosts blow

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 21, 2018

Aww look, ’tis but a baby dragon
How cutely doth it snarl and snap and roar
Bites off heads, and spills much gore
As bards excitedly tell us all its lore
And empty flagon after flagon

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 17, 2018

Out swords, all! The North doth rise
Horrid slaughter done before our eyes
And wanton arson that’s no surprise
I hear they’re now a plundering franchise

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

The old castle’s lures in my ravenous kith and kin
With swords brandished and spears hurled they come trooping in
Lopping off heads and arms and less visible bits, they storm the place
And make a rush for the kitchens, to kiss the cook’s…face

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 19, 2018

1)
“What was THAT?”
“Either a dragon hitting the ground, or the Floating Castle is no longer floating. Or both. Though if a pouncing dragon rode the castle to the ground, I think the rumbling would have gone on longer.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

3)
…“WHAT? You, ah, seem rather CALM about it all! You speak of major calamity!”
“When you’ve been an archwizard as long as I have…besides, the explanation may be far more mundane.”
“Mundane? …#epic fantasy A thunderous roar that shakes the ground under our boots?”
“Sometimes the young fire-breathing drakes don’t heed what they eat before they try to breathe flame, and the results are…spectacular.”
“Wait…are you telling me that…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

5)
we just heard a dragon blowing itself up FARTING?”
“When you’ve been an archwizard as long as I have…”
“Oh, not THAT again!”
“…you learn when to let the other investigator go first. Now is such an occasion. You first.”#epic fantasy “What? But YOU’RE the archwizard. Of such long, long standing, too!”
“And this is HOW I survived to be an archwizard as long as I have. You first.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018