The King and Queen are here today
The great promenade is under way
The envoys are emoting quite a bit
Yet I’m sure they’re still quite full of pickles

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

1)
When they begin to dice the dragon’s spleen
It sizzles in the wyvern butter so tender
And brings back to me a night of debauched castle splendor

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

2)
That brings back that memory of my stomach so green
I’m with you once more under the stars
Recalling that night of so many drastically lowered bars

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

1)
“What’s that you have there?”
“Just an old book I liked the look of, Master. You said I could read anything in the Lower Library.”
“I did indeed, but let me have a look at that one. It may not be SAFE for you to read yet.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

3)
“Oh? And how can you tell?”
“I deem the eyeballs and fangs gliding all over its cover strong hints, lad. As are the tentacles gripping and throttling you now.”
“Ulllulululuukkkh!”#epic fantasy “Worry not, lad. Your peccadilloes as apprentice aren’t quite bad enough for me to conveniently let you get killed. So a touch of this rod, and—see? It retreats back to being a book again, for a little while. What worries…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

4)
…me is that it got itself from a hidden room down in the Deeper Vaults right up into the Lower Library to find new victims. Quite a trip. And it’s not even vacation season yet.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 18, 2018

1)
“Jorath, they have us SURROUNDED! I’ve counted at LEAST eighty hobgoblins out there so far! What are you MESSING AROUND with a fire and the sup-all biggest cauldron for? Doomed adventurers eat last hearty meal, or some such…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 15, 2018

3)
…nonsense?”
“Don’t you know the legend? We haul this too-big, rusty old cauldron around because it’s enchanted! Warriors boiled in it grow to giant size, are healed of all wounds and ills, and gain the strength of ten!”#epic fantasy “So if I hop in there, and somehow DON’T die horribly, you’re thinking I’ll come out brawny enough to defeat all the hobgoblins and save us?”
“Yes! And we’ll keep the cauldron boiling, so you can dive back in and get… #epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 15, 2018

5)
…healed, no matter how often you get wounded!”
“Uh-huh. So what’re all the salt, carrots, and dumplings for?”
“Well, if the magic is mere legend, and you die, I pour in this poison and we flee to the topmost rock. The hobbers…#epic fantasy …sample the free meal, then they all die, and we escape.”
“NO. I won’t do it! I’m ALLERGIC to carrots!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 15, 2018

1)
Whenever dragons rage, and scour kingdoms through
Whenever wars become massacres
I think of you
When kings order me arrested, and tell me that I’m through
When they ready the chopping block for my neck
My thoughts dwell on you

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 12, 2018

1)
Whenever dragons rage, and scour kingdoms through
Whenever wars become massacres
I think of you
When kings order me arrested, and tell me that I’m through
When they ready the chopping block for my neck
My thoughts dwell on you

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 12, 2018

1)
“So yer the new Royal Champions adventurers, hey?”
“We are. The King’s own. We outrank all dukes and archbishops, and can park our coaches wherever we want.”
“Good fer you, laddie! …#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 18, 2018

3)
… We’ll be cheering for you—until it’s time to cheer for the NEXT lot.”
“I BEG your pardon?”
“Yer the NEW Royal Champions. Not the first. I remember them. I liked them. Specially the one with the great big…smile.”#epic fantasy “All right, all right, spin your dread tale of terror: what happened to them?”
“They disagreed with the King.”
“And?”
“Their bones were never found.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 18, 2018

1)
“So is this one of the famous moving castles, then? In one place for a year, then when spring comes, it’s half a realm away?”
“Yes,” the tavernmaster admitted. “It always comes back again, though. So this road leads nowhere…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 23, 2018

3)
…only every other year. I brew beer in the off years, and keep up with the repainting.”
“Well, the King sent me to put a stop to all that. He wants his castles where they should be—and when it moves, its entire garrison…#epic fantasy vanishes, every time, and he has to recruit and train several hundred new soldiers.”
The tavernmaster eyed the thin young man with the abundant pimples. “You a mighty mage then?”
The young man drew himself up. “Indeed!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 23, 2018

5)
…“Ah,” said the tavernmaster, fetching a cleaver from behind the bar and deftly splitting the young man’s skull with it.
“Moving castles and missing soldiers is one thing,” he grunted to the corpse, wiping brains onto his… #epic fantasy apron, “and that’s kings playing the usual idiot, as kings seemingly must, but wizards are something else entirely. Wizards are DANGEROUS.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 23, 2018

The dragon ate the wyvern and now in yonder cavern lurks
Awaiting dessert in the form of adventurers of renown
Thence strode the Crown Prince, known for his good works
So will the wyrm whole-swallow him down
Or upchuck that nasty pointy crown?

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 24, 2018

Stab, O stab, the monster hairy
Fill, O fill the blood-offering bowl
For my ritual will make slayers strong and merry
Though getting rich is by far their preferred goal

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 24, 2018

Such a battle! Soon there’ll be a winner
If it’s the goblins, the humans’ll be dinner
And their king’s dreams of empire then and there’ll go POP
But then, every imperial dream seems to go best when it’s brought to a sudden…
STOP.

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 25, 2018

Once upon a midnight eerie
Trudging through dungeon dreary
Wanting to be home’n’getting beery
Come ghostly footfalls ahead on the floor
An ectoplasmic greeting
Yet I’d prefer to miss this meeting
Preferring foes solid and full of spillable gore

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 15, 2018

1)
The ghosts were publicly appearing (horribly, and all-nightly)
A-haunting worse than they’d ever haunted before
They made us fervently want to be elsewhere
So we went, chased by many a wail, shriek, and menacing roar

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 16, 2018

2)
Went, to set boot in those halls nevermore
Leaving all the eerie, unseen cackling, groaning, and sighing
A shunning the likes of which we’ve never forlornly enacted before
Yet, upon due consideration, we find somewhat preferable to dying

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 16, 2018