1)
“WHAT is that terrible screaming and CRASHING noise?”
“Knights being hurled off the battlements. Your father’s having a bad day.”
“But—but those knights are my friends! And LOVERS!”
“Don’t let your father hear you admit that,…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 7, 2018

3)
… dear. He’s old-fashioned about such things.”
“What? But he has HUNDREDS of lovers! Every woman he likes the look of!”
“And if you bedded every woman he liked the look of, he probably wouldn’t mind. …#epic fantasy It’s that they’re MEN, dear. You see, he is one. He knows how useless they truly are.”
“They’re not useless. They DO have their uses. Well, one use.”
“Agreed. Reckless, then.”
“Well, some may be, but my knights? Reckless?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 7, 2018

5)
“They bedded an unwed princess, didn’t they? And her mother? Under the nose of the man they knew the King to be? Reckless.”
“‘And her MOTHER’? Mother! How COULD you?”
“Daughter! How COULD YOU? Want to go round again?”#epic fantasy “You’re HOPELESS!”
“Precisely how I described you to your father.”
“And what did he say?”
“You do NOT want to know. Let’s just say that if you’d been a knight and not his daughter, he’d have had higher battlements built.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 7, 2018

Ghosts drift lazily through the night
Drawn to the shed blood of the latest fight
Hurled are the spells, drawn are the swords
Dead are the overlords, and shattered their wards

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 6, 2018

Over the river, and through the wood
We ride, to the castle gate.
Yet it is shut
And sentries unsmiling strut
For we have come too late.

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 6, 2018

Violent melee once more ongoing
Blood like fast river through rapids flowing
Fear, weariness, and rage all showing
As we more reavers put to the sword
In the name of the justice of our ruling lord
All of this necessary policing leaves me bored

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 7, 2018

1)
“You a wizard?”
“Who wants to know, and why?”
“Now, now, no need to be defensive about it, friend. I’ve no quarrel with wizards; I simply wanted to know if you might have the experience to answer a simple question.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 10, 2018

3)
“Simple as in how the Cosmic All secretly works, or how to make gold out of dung, or…?”
“No, simple WITHOUT the sarcasm. As in: lots of thunderflashes on a local hilltop three nights back, but no storm, so…wizards’ duel?”#epic fantasy “And if it was?”
“Do we need to go see? Do a cleanup? Burial? Is there magical residue to beware of…? Farmers worry over such things.”
“Oh. Fair enough. It was a duel, yes.”
“And?”
“I’m standing here, am I not?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 10, 2018

4)
“And if it was?”
“Do we need to go see? Do a cleanup? Burial? Is there magical residue to beware of…? Farmers worry over such things.”
“Oh. Fair enough. It was a duel, yes.”
“And?”
“I’m standing here, am I not?”#epic fantasy “So does that mean you won, or lost?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 10, 2018

1)
I hear the deep wee-hours silent breezes blow
Somehow sidling in through my closed window
Is this one of those nights when you will show?

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 9, 2018

2)
Shadows dance, dark and eerie
Tonight will you be my ghostly dearie?
Soft now, I feel you come creeping
Coming, another happy dawn of no wink sleeping…

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 9, 2018

Dark and slinking it came to us
Reaching talons spidery and ominous
Its shadow long and lean and frail
It sniffed us all, went to and fro
And finally to the mage did go
What it did to him we do not know
But on the instant, his spells did fail

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 9, 2018

1)
“I believe the preferred phrase is ‘Hold My Ale.’”
“While you do WHAT, exactly?”
“See the mayhem down there in the throne room?”
“Is that a trick question? Of COURSE; how could I not?”
“Good. Yet you haven’t seen REAL mayhem…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 11, 2018

3)
…… YET. Watch.”
“What’re you—ohhhh.”
“Exactly. What’s better than a room full of furious nobles daggering courtiers and being sworded by guards? A room full of all of them trying to do that whilst slipping on thousands of…#epic fantasy marbles rolling underfoot.”
“Was that your new spell, then? Flood of Marbles?”
“CONE of Marbles, please. And it’s ONE of my new spells. Behold the other.”
“Oh, gods! What do you call that? Storm of Whipped Cream?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 11, 2018

5)
“You guess correctly.”
“The King’s going to be FURIOUS. He’s going to need dozens of new nobles. And courtiers. And guards.”
“And if he learns anything from experience, new decrees banning the casting of spells in the Palace.”#epic fantasy “The King? LEARN anything? Ahahahahahahaha!”
And that is how laughing became treason in the kingdom of Arlingstoke. #epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 11, 2018

1)
I want to cast spells to make the Six Dark Dooms commence
While I drink Mad Moons from skull goblets ’til I lose all sense
And dream of daemon lovers with charms immense
As I float off to other planes on a cloud of cherry-frosted incense

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 11, 2018

2)
So let the runes tumble and spin
And the magic begin
As the waiting goblets endlessly grin
Count me in!

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 11, 2018

It’s ten past dusk on a Slaughter Day
The regular crowd shuffles out
They don’t want to get caught in the red gory spray
When the drunken duelists start to stab and shout

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 12, 2018

1)
“Halt! Who goes there?”
“Royal High Wizard. Shine your lantern…see? It’s me.”
“All right. But why’re you down here, at this time of night?”
“Important consultations. Security of the realm, and all that.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 13, 2018

3)
…“What? But there’s naught past us but the Palace Graveyard.”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
“It’s sometimes necessary to consult with the…no longer living.”
“Oh. OH. Necromancy?”
“If you MUST call it that.”
“Aye. Me dad didn’t like the word, …#epic fantasy neither. He said plain speech was good enough for him.”
“I see. And what words did he prefer?”
“Copulating with the Queen atop a handy flat tombstone. That’s plain enough, ain’t it?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 13, 2018

1)
“What’ll we DO, Father? They mean to KILL us! They’re just waiting for Ma to get back and finish cooking the supper, and dish it up! Then they’ll, er, violate her, and kill us all, and eat it!”
“I know, son.”
“BUT???”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 8, 2018

3)
…“But I’ve shown them into the Locked Room, haven’t I?”
“Yes, but what good will THAT do? I can smell that they’re smoking all your cigars already!”
“Son, did you ever wonder why I keep the Locked Room locked?”
“For exalted… #epic fantasy guests. Are THEY exalted?”
“Nay. And nay. As in: they are not, and that’s not why I keep it locked. I keep it locked because all the furniture used to belong to the lich-lord. It’s alive.”
“Alive?”
“And hungry. So right about…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 8, 2018

5)
…NOW—”
“What are those SOUNDS? The wet, GNAWING sounds, I mean, not the shrieks!”
“The outlaws being eaten. By the furniture.”
“Ohhh, it sounds HORRIBLE. I think I’m going to be sick!”
“Here’s the bowl, lad. So don’t listen.”#epic fantasy Don’t listen? HOW?”
“Listen to me, instead, and answer my question.”
“All right.”
“Just where did you hear the word ‘violate,’ and how is it you know what it means?”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) October 8, 2018