1)
Won’t it be a grand beheading?
Will not the traitors’ shrieks ring delightful?
Gore and even ichor all o’er this marble floor shedding
As they die the death sentenced rightful— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 13, 2018
2)
One could say, if one were spiteful
And rebuke little dreading
That so much treason is simply frightful
And betokens a Crown standing not in good steading— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 13, 2018
Though any orc may well sneer
I’ve survived a long career
By gallantly leading from the rear
Raking treasure in over the sprawled dead
And I’m never known to quail
At kiss of dragonfire, fang, or flail
And my blood runs red when regrettably shed— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
The wind tonight blows strong and free
Bearing strange voices, westerly
The holy folk wear faces of dread
They know those whispers are the restless dead— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 10, 2018
My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
A dragon wants to eat me
Foes to beat me
And I’m good only at florid oration
In battle I’m inclined to faint when overloaded get my senses
And that’s all too apt to have unpleasantly fatal consequences— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018
1)
We stalk the dungeon dark
A-seeking monstrous beauty
No matter what the danger stark
Slaying beasties is our sworn duty— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 13, 2018
2)
When dying screams ring free
Across land and sea
We rush in, ready to play
Until the oracles finally lie
And perchance we die
We’ll always be ready for the next bloody fray— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 13, 2018
1)
The cleric paled. “Look, behind the mountains! Smoke! And the plume is BIG. What’s burning?”
“Our homes,” said the fighter grimly. “The trouble with going on quests is leaving home unguarded. A gamble we lost this time.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 8, 2018
2)
“But who…?”
The fighter shrugged. “Pirates. Invading armies. A cow knocking over a keg of oil into a forge-fire. Lightning. Fire-breathing dragon crashing on its head, out of the sky. Hot cooking-coals tossed in a dumpster. …#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 8, 2018
3)
… Starting fires is EASY.”
“So what do we DO?”
“Kill something and move on,” the thief put in.
The fighter nodded. “Keep going; what else? Life is what you do between dumpster fires.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) September 8, 2018
1)
“ANOTHER ring to rule them all? How falarking original! Do all of these dwarven mage-smiths possess NO originality at all? Or are they all so in love with tradition that they’ll endanger realms by making a portable…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 27, 2018
3)
…destroy-all thingummy ANY dolt can steal or find, and traipse around with, using some of its powers without knowing or caring about consequences?”
“Well, kings do that all the time!”#epic fantasy “Yes, but they’re BORN to it, lad. We’re USED to them being reckless dolts, caring naught for the fates of the rest of us. That’s comfortingly USUAL, see?”
“Uh-huh. Well, this ruling ring is different.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 27, 2018
5)
“How?”
“Oh? Special colour to its glow? Flavoured, perhaps? Emits tunes that drive you mad, like a court bard?”
“No. This one isn’t portable.”
“How so? Even something stuck in a stone, like that fated sword, can be MADE portable.”#epic fantasy “Lad, you just need a sufficiently irresponsible wizard. Which is darned near all of them, come to think.”
“Well, this ring is magical, but it can’t travel. Not without a LOT of chisel and pickaxe work…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 27, 2018
7)
…that’ll most likely destroy it.”
“Lad, when it’s magic, there is no ‘can’t’ anything…trust me.”
“Well, this ring is a bathtub ring. And the tub is hollowed out of the bedrock deep in a mountain. And is a tub big enough for…”#epic fantasy …six dwarves to share without touching. And the cavern it’s in has only very narrow entrances. Crack the tub and you crack the magic. So you’d need to hew a huge block of bedrock…”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 27, 2018
8)
“I get it, lad, I get it. Ever heard of MAGIC?”
“Why, yes. One ring to rule them all…”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 27, 2018
Hark! What’s that! ACK! It’s a deadly minidragon swarm!
Panic-panic-panic-panic; it’s this bold adventurer’s norm
In short, in matters adventuresome that endanger us
I am the one who flees and shrieks then uncontrollably starts to cuss— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 6, 2018
When the spring winds blow
smiling dragons eagerly go
But when winter hurls its ice
They’re back—and far less than nice— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 6, 2018
The lithe ladies of Dark Lady Lane
Beckon with their great dark eyes
And so long as your coins in their hands remain
Their true love it never dies— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 5, 2018
1)
“Why,” asked the Royal Vaultkeeper, “is there a woman’s hand sticking up out of yon mound of gold coins? And it’s MOVING.”
The guard peered. “Oh, that’s just Anthaya. Waving hello, I guess.”
“And just who is Anthaya?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
3)
“Ah, she’s our, er, coin inspector.”
“No.”
“Sorry?”
“As it happens, I have the honor to be His Majesty’s coin inspector. So who is Anthaya, really?”
“I-I tell truth, Lord! She inspects our coins!”
“Who is this ‘our,’ precisely?” “Uh, we guards. She inspects OUR coins.”
“On their way into her purse?”
“Precisely! You have it!”
“Coins she acquires for…?”
“Making we guards less bored and therefore far more vigilant, Lord!”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
5)
…His Majesty’s coins?”
“Uh, resting, Lord.”
“From her exertions?”
“Yes, Lord.”
“Why buried in coins, rather than something softer?”
“I see. So why, if divine her method of alleviating boredom correctly—a method that would seem to this admitted uninitiated personage, to require some large degree of physical proximity, is Anthaya over there, buried in…#epic fantasy “Uh, it’s a matter of modesty, Lord.”
“Hers?”
“So she’s unclad at this time?”
“Er…yes, Lord.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
7)
“Would it be correct to characterize my visit as unexpected?”
“Ah, I believe so, Lord.”
“And her current state of dress due in part to that, and in part to her exertions?”
“Yes, Lord. I can explain everything, Lord!”#epic fantasy “You’re doing very well at that, thus far. So where, if it’s not too indelicate a question, are her garments?”
Shamefacedly the guard reached into his codpiece. And drew out a rather wrinkled dress.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
9)
“Ah, GOOD, Lord.”
The Royal Vaultkeeper drew his lens down from his forehead on its strap, and peered through it at the garment. Critically.
“No pockets, I see. Good, good. See-through thin; even better, for coin-guarding purposes.”#epic fantasy “Indeed. Tell me, have you paid Anthaya for this particular…set of exertions?”
“N-not yet, Lord.”
“Don’t. When done, send her to me for payment.”
“My Lord?”
“This should be an expense borne by the Crown, not an…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
11)
…untaxed, undocumented, extra-curricular matter. Anthaya is providing a service to Crown personnel, and should be properly recompensed.”
“Oh. Lord.”
“So she’ll receive a pension when the time comes that her exertions become…#epic fantasy…too much; that sort of thing. It’s how we do things in this kingdom, Trusted Guardian. And if she doesn’t mind a personal observation, the hue of that garment does no favors at all to the hue of skin I just happened to …#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
13)
…Trusted Guardian.”
espy among the coins, when she rolled over. And I believe we should institute, here and now, a new rule: no diving into the mounds of royal coins. Personal safety, you understand. Carry on with your superb vigilance, … “Yes, Lord. Thank you, Lord. You are a wonder, Lord.”
“As it happens, His Majesty made much the same observation, when last I saw Anthaya. She DOES get around. A boost to our internal economy, indeed.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 31, 2018
1)
“According to the map, the dragon’s treasure is down there.” The fighter pointed down the shaft.
The thief peered. “Full of jet-black water. With long-dead things floating in it. So it’s a drowned dragon, is it?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
3)
“A mere detail. Could be an illusion,” said the cleric.
The thief picked up a broken-off end of flagstone and tossed it down the shaft.
“PLOOSH,” commented the water below.
“There’s your illusion. Most convincing.” The cleric shrugged. “Water. A mere detail.”
Then something very large and glistening-wet burst up out of the shaft to tower over them. It had many writhing tentacles and staring eyes. And not a few fanged mouths that bit…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
5)
In three different directions.
…at the air.
Two tentacles angrily waved the flagstone.
The cleric stared at it. “Could be an illusion. Or another mere detail.”
The fighter, thief, and wizard traded glances.
Then, in silent accord, turned and sprinted away.#epic fantasyThe large, swaying something regarded the cleric—and pounced, striking like a snake. Holy spells flashed blinding white.
And rebounded off fangs that bit big chunks out of the cleric.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
7)
Fangs that glowed with their own holy fire.
“Sacrilege!” thundered the large swaying something. “As the Guardian Priest of the Great Wyrm GGHlong, hear me! Pieces of stone are NOT acceptable offerings to the Wyrm Of All!”#epic fantasy “Will pieces of cleric do?” the thief called, from around a corner in the distance. “Or can we depart in safety to go and fetch you something else?”
The Guardian Priest sneered. “You seek to deceive me. You shall flee and…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
9)
…SEVEN MORE clerics. I eat only holy flesh, and have not eaten in years!”
…never return. GGHlong is further affronted! Seek not to escape, for GGHlong is the Wyrm Of All! All worms obey Him; you are safe nowhere!”
The wizard rolled his eyes. “How may GGHlong be appeased?”
“Bring me pieces of… “Ah. I believe we can oblige. We must go and get them, though; we’re a long way from any temples.”
“How can I trust you’ll return?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
11)
“Clever,” the thief told the wizard, when they were out in the open air again. “Safe escape, though we have to kiss the dragon’s treasure farewell.”
“You must have faith,” the wizard called. “GGHlong would expect no less!”
“You speak truth! Go, then!”
“Going!” the wizard, thief, and fighter chorused. And went.#epic fantasy “How so? I fully intend to come back with seven clerics.”
“Whaaat?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
12)
“Clever,” the thief told the wizard, when they were out in the open air again. “Safe escape, though we have to kiss the dragon’s treasure farewell.”
“How so? I fully intend to come back with seven clerics.”
“Whaaat?”#epic fantasy “How will you get them to come?”
“I’ll tell them yon Guardian Priest commanded it. So, holy quest. I may neglect to mention GGHlong, or that GGHlong’s priest happens to be a huge monster. Mere details, after all.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
12)
“How will you get them to come?”
“I’ll tell them yon Guardian Priest commanded it. So, holy quest. I may neglect to mention GGHlong, or that GGHlong’s priest happens to be a huge monster. Mere details, after all.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 30, 2018
