1)
The castle was an empty, ruined shell.
“Well, I guess our quest ends in failure,” said the paladin, turning away in disgust.
“Quitter,” the dwarf snarled, goading the holy knight into freezing in mid-stride.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 26, 2018

3)
“I—”
“How so, fat one?” he asked coldly, turning to face the dwarf.
“You,” the dwarf growled, “think things that aren’t new, bright, or shiny are ruined, or worthless, or not worth the taking.” “Talk too much, think too little. Idiots of your ilk are why humans tear down perfectly good hovels to throw up larger, newer ones. The gods stopped making new lands, you know.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 26, 2018

5)
“I—”
“Should keep listening. I’m not done. Stop forever taking more, now, before there isn’t enough left to go around.”
“Do all dwarves feel this way?”
“About humans? Yes.”
“But…but…why haven’t you said?” “We’re polite. And you’re too murderous.”
With a snarl of fury, the paladin drew his sword.
“See?” said the dwarf. “Now put that down. The elf’s blade is JUST behind your neck.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 26, 2018

1)
“I’ll do it,” said the junior wizard, and strode along the corridor. Huge stone blocks dropped, darts hissed out, poisonous gas jetted, and flails burst from behind panels to swing in deadly arcs. Yet somehow he reached the door at the far end unscathed.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 22, 2018

2)
The rest of the adventurers gaped. “How…?”
“Seventh son,” the junior wizard called. “Can’t go down until my moment of destiny. So I’m putting that off until I’m fourscore and more. Until then: gaining well-rounded experience.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 22, 2018

3)
“Oh,” grunted the dwarf. “A clever one. Think of everything, they do. Good thing he isn’t beautiful, too.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 22, 2018

1)
“Guess that leaves just this one for me,” the cleric grunted, and embraced the tall, thin, timid woman. She simpered—and then bit out his throat with her suddenly-revealed fangs.
“But…but his spell!” the warrior protested,…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 23, 2018

2)
…hurling his own lady-of-the-evening far away and whipping out his sword. “No one should be able to shapeshift!”
“Oh, we didn’t,” said one of the fanged women, who were now ringing the half-undressed adventurers.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 23, 2018

3)
“We were all just using a clever disguise. Naughty clothing plus timidity. Your lust did the rest.”
“I’ll never trust my lust again,” the wizard muttered.
“HOW old are you, to still do so?” one of the fanged women asked.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 23, 2018

4)
“Ladies,” she added, “we’ll be eating idiots.”
“They’re ALL idiots,” another reminded her, “or they’d not get close enough to get eaten.”
“Or go adventuring in the first place,” pointed out a third.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 23, 2018

5)
“Don’t listen!” shouted the thief. “They’re trying to break our morale!”
“They’re succeeding,” said the wizard glumly. And cast the spell that turned himself into a lump of stone.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 23, 2018

6)
It failed, thanks to the cleric’s spell. He resigned himself to becoming dessert.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 23, 2018

1)
“Well, now that the dead mother dragon’s been carted off to the kitchens to be turned into feasts for the next SIX MONTHS, and someone’s had to good sense to cart the three FED dragonets off to the mountains to be reared…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018

3)
aafely FAR from here,” said the Lord High Chamberlain, with a rising anger spurred on by his still-smarting backside where blood had too recently been drawn, “WHY isn’t this table SET, yet? What unforeseen calamity has…#epic fantasy…prevented your expertise with goblets and trenchers from being visited upon yon gleaming board, hmm?”
“Er, the goblets, Lord. We can’t get to them, Lord.”
“Oh? You have forgotten the way, perchance? Or has ANOTHER dragon…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018

4)
…prevented your expertise with goblets and trenchers from being visited upon yon gleaming board, hmm?”
“Er, the goblets, Lord. We can’t get to them, Lord.”
“Oh? You have forgotten the way, perchance? Or has ANOTHER dragon dropped in on us unheralded and JUST HAPPENED to block the door you need to pass through?”
“No, Lord. It’s the mushrooms, Lord.”
“The MUSHROOMS. Ah, of course! The mushrooms—WHAT MUSHROOMS?”
“Let me explain, Lord!”
“Please DO!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018

6)
…“The monster mushrooms, Lord. They’re calling them that because they’re what the Seneschal calls ‘aggressive ambulatory fungi,’ Lord. That is, they’ll fight you.”
“Fight ME? And just why do you suppose I’ll be having anything at all to do with them?”
“You’re the Lord High Chamberlain, Lord. And the Palace proper is your domain, as you remind us daily. And the mushrooms have taken over the Castle dungeons and are now on the ground floor.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018

8)
“Taking it over room by room,” the other footman added helpfully. “One of those rooms being the Chamber of All Goblets. Hence the lack of table setting.”
The Lord High Chamberlain pounced “And being as we get trenchers from the bakery,” he said triumphantly, “WHY did you not at least place the trenchers?”
“The mushrooms took over the bakery, too, Lord. And the bakers.”
The Lord High Chamberlain knew despair.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018

9)
“And being as we get trenchers from the bakery,” he said triumphantly, “WHY did you not at least place the trenchers?”
“The mushrooms took over the bakery, too, Lord. And the bakers.”
The Lord High Chamberlain knew despair. “Must I do everything MYSELF?”
“You often ask us that, Lord. And the answer remains: if you want it done right, YES.”
“But…what shall I do?”
“You’re the Lord High Chamberlain!” came the happy chorus. You’ll think of something!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018

1)
The Lord High Chamberlain lost it.
“Did I,” he snarled, striding down the passage to trample the servants if they didn’t scramble to their work, “or did I not, order you to have this table SET? SIX bells ago!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

3)
…gave birth to three dragonets. The Queen’s calling them Delightful, Unexpected, and Surprise. She’s had us busy getting milk for them.”
“Milk? Dragons drink BLOOD!”
“Yes, and she’s empowered us to draw some from everyone in…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

5)
…never been leered at by a mere footman before, but to his surprise, he quite liked it.
Made one feel important. WANTED.
the Palace. So if you don’t want an unsightly scar everyone will see, just drop your breeches and bend over, Lord, and you’ll end up with a slightly scar you can show your SPECIAL friends.”
The Lord High Chamberlain had… “Now, beware, you’ll feel a prick…”
“Ahem,” a passing maid jested, right on cue.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

1)
“There are two sorts of people, in life,” the wizard murmured. “Those who look before they touch, would never dream of vandalizing anything, and leave things alone that don’t belong to them. And then…” He trailed off.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018

3)
“…there’s our thief,” the cleric picked up the sentence smoothly. “Who will soon, if he’s not a LOT more careful, fall OUT of life. If he’s unlucky, right about NOW.”
The explosion that befell then was brief but powerful. Pieces of thief slapped their faces wetly. Both calmly wiped clean, surveyed the wreckage, and turned away.
“Only the third room, and that’s four thieves already,” said the cleric.
“The dungeon is winning,” the wizard agreed.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018

1)
And as aforepromised, the third and final part of Ye Trilogy…following on directly from Part 2, without a moment’s break… In the alley, the cleric stared incredulously at the thief. “Adventure?”
“Yes,” the thief confirmed brightly. “You should try it some time. When you grow up and feel ready for uncertainty and excitement.”
The cleric reddened.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

3)
The thief, still aloft, patted the top of the cleric’s head soothingly. “I QUITE understand that creed and scripture don’t prepare one for uncertainty and excitement.”
“Blasphemy! “Oooh, that’s a good first step. But quick, look pious, here come the last of the Watch reinforcements.”
A severed head, still in its Watch helmet, hurtled past them from the barbarian’s direction.
“YOU!” bellowed the…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

5)
“Hoy!” protested the fighter, parrying a Watch blade out of sheer habit.
…foremost charging Watch officer, pointing at the cleric standing beside the head. He used his sword to do it.
“Thoughts and prayers,” murmured the thief, cranking his hand-winch and ascending his line back up to the balcony The thief grinned down at him and hurled a throwing knife into a Watch officer’s face. “Behold: Thoughts!”
Then he hurled a second knife. “And Prayers!”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

7)
Those knives had felled the two Watch closest to the cleric, who was retreating and babbling protestations of innocence.
“True to training,” the thief sighed at that, and swung down on his line to fell the last of the Watch “HURRR!” bellowed the barbarian, from down the alley. “Those were MINE to kill! Go find your own hapless targets!”
“I shall,” the thief called back. “These Watch have plenty of weapons, but no purses. I want coins.”
The mage…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

9)
…looked up and down the alley, then tapped the fighter’s shoulder.
“Does this mean we don’t have to flee the city, any more? There’s a good shop I want to visit…”
The cleric winced. “I don’t think they like us, here.” The thief sighed. “How’d you like to be rich? Your god has nothing against you healing for coin, yes?
“Well, no, but I’m only good at cuts and severed limbs and suchlike, not diseases.”
“Then you’ll be fine. We’re with him, …#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

10)
…remember? And this is a city around us, yes?” The thief was pointing at the barbarian, now lumbering towards them like a miniature mountain on the move. “And the moment he encounters his first traffic jam…”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 8, 2018

1)
And now…an #epic fantasy moment that’s a sequel to last night’s… “We should go. NOW. If we leave the barbarian and hurry clear across the city to the south gate, word may not have reached the guards there yet, and we can get out and save our own necks. His is forfeit, no matter what we…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018

3)
When he was out of breath, well down the alley, he slowed to catch his wind, and looked back. The mage and fighter were with him, but the thief was not.
…do,” muttered the mage into the cleric’s ear.
“I’m inclined to agree,” the cleric murmured back. “Is he looking?”
“Too much blood spraying for him to see,” the thief replied.
“Then down that alley!” The cleric pointed and ran.#epic fantasy “Now is NOT the time for extra-curricular thieving!” the cleric seethed.#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018

5)
“First off,” the thief said in his ear, dropping down on a line from a rooftop above and startling the cleric into a shriek, “it is ALWAYS time for extra-curricular PROCURING, Sir Thoughts And Prayers! And secondly, I’m not…#epic fantasy…coming with you. My coin’s on our barbarian; he has more than threescore Watch piled up as carrion around him already, he’s still fresh, and the Watch in this city has no archers. He should prevail. And a city without a…#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018

6)
…Watch is a thieves’ picnic, as the old saying goes.”
“What old saying?”
“The one I just made up. Now run along and flee the city, you bold adventurers, you. I’m staying here to get rich. I believe they call it ADVENTURE.”#epic fantasy

— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 7, 2018