1)
To know our mythic history, from when the sun stood in for water-clocks
Steeps me in the lore, even when I’m lost in contradictory paradox
…— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
2)
Through years of puzzling and searching I draw closer to the Deep Lore the gods once wrote
The trick will be to lay it bare before blasphemy I do get smote.— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 23, 2018
1)
“Tell me again why we’re doing this,” said the barbarian, adjusting the wig and his gargantuan false bodice one more time.
“Because if we try hacking our way into the castle,” the thief said, “we’ll be dead before you can…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 18, 2018
2)
…draw a breath. See all those crossbows?”
“But these disguises are going to fool NO one,” the barbarian growled. “They can see I’m male.”
The thief shrugged. “So? Some of yon guards will lust after a hairy man in a dress.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 18, 2018
3)
“What? WHY?”
“Castle garrison. Cooped up. Boredom. Boredom kills life, variety gives it interest and color and makes it worth experiencing more of. Why did YOU choose a life of adventure?”
“No food; hard winter. Clan chief…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 18, 2018
4)
…ordered all younglings out to fend for ourselves. Not for interest and color. For survival.”
“So for survival, in this time and place of imminent crossbow shafts through your guts, you’re wearing a dress.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 18, 2018
5)
The thief adjusted his own false bodice, then the hilts of the throwing knives beneath it—and struck an alluring pose.
“Oh, and simpering. Don’t forget to simper; they like that.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 18, 2018
1)
“You hired a sidekick, not a hero,” said the sly little man. “Fight the dragon yourself.”
The princess glared at him. “You said you’d be faithful—loyal—and always have my back!”
“I do,” the sidekick pointed out.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
2)
“When you face yon wyrm, your back’s turned my way—and I’m guarding it well.”
The princess gave him another glare, spun around, and started backing towards the wyrm.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
3)
The sidekick's heartfelt curse was drowned out by the roaring laughter of the dragon.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
1)
“If we can train the manytentacled orob,” the young wizard said excitedly, “they could mine, guard gates, and even serve as mounts!”
The Royal Mage sighed. “You’ve been listening to fey tales again, haven’t you? Listen, lad. The fey just want to make mischief.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
2)
“And then watch us die in follies of their making. Believe them NOT. Why, they even tell of a world where there’s no magic, but they’ve tamed all beasts and even the land itself!”
“HOW, without magic? Wait, is this that world of ‘science’?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
3)
“It is.”
The young wizard nodded, strode past the Royal Mage, and shoved the gryphon statue. It toppled, smashing the elder wizard as if he was but an egg, and hurling his remains, with the balcony railing, down into the gorge below.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
4)
The hungry orob sent up hoots of appreciation for the unexpected snack, waving a small forest of tentacles.
The young wizard grinned down at them. “Well, THAT bit of science works just fine. Something to bear in mind if they don’t make me the new Royal Mage…”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) June 22, 2018
1)
“Quick, Larra! Pack up everything—sell what we can’t put in the wagon—and get gone! The dragons are coming!”
“So we can be out on the road with our oxen in a bulging wagon when they dive out of the sky?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
2)
“Yes! Er—no. Um, well, WHAT, then?”
“Go to the midden and find the black blanket with the plague symbol on it that they draped over poor old Urtha’s hovel. Then stretch it out on our roof.”
“What?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
3)
“Plague symbol side up, mind. And weigh its edges down with many stones, all around. And HURRY!”
“But what good will that do?”
“It’ll keep you out of my hair; I’m going to be frantic-busy.”
“Doing what?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
4)
“Getting everything up out of the root cellar so there’s room for us in it, and a wall of sandbags. If anything will stop dragonfire…”
“But the priest says—”
“Eldred, HOW old are you?”
“Uh, threescore and six summers.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
5)
“And how many dragons have you seen, close up?”
“None. Three, all far off in the sky.”
“And how old is the priest?”
“Ah, twoscore something…”
“So he became an expert on dragons WHEN, exactly?”
“Oh.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
6)
“He wants us all out on the road in our wagons, yes?”
“Why, YES, he said—”
“That we should all get out there on the road, so we can be dragon supper, while he hides under his altar. There’s a vault down there, remember?”
“Oh.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
7)
“The MIDDEN, Eldred. NOW.”
“But if the priest stops me—”
“Send him here to see me. I’ll make a dragon expert of him yet.”
“Unh? How?”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
8)
“I’ll hit him with this skillet. It works with knights and paladins, so likely priests, too.”
“But…”
“Recall you his sermon on the god smiting disloyal priests? I’ll wager he used a skillet once he ran out of lightning bolts.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
9)
“But what if you’re wrong?”
“Then we’ll be dead here, in our home, not out on the road. And the priest will know whose ashes are ours, to pray over. See? I’ve thought of everything.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
10)
“But…but…”
“Don’t worry. I’ll announce to all the survivors that I’m now a priestess, once the dragons have gone. That vault under the altar is FULL of treasure.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 6, 2018
1)
“SEVEN HUNDRED gold tricrowns for a BROADsword?”
“Ah, said the trader, with a gleam in his eye, “but this is a MAGIC broadsword.”
The warrior shrugged. “Every sword my grandmother ever sold was magical. Make it good.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 4, 2018
2)
The trader smiled. “Ah, but did your grandmother TEST every blade she sold?”
“Of course. Who do you think depopulated the Goblin Kingdom?”
The trader went pale. “Your grandmother was MAD MAARA?”
The warrior smiled like a wolf.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 4, 2018
3)
“Yes, trader. And the trinkets she left me tell me when I’m dealing with goblins. They’re telling me that right now.”
“May the gods watch over you!” the trader cried, flinging down the sword and fleeing wildly.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 4, 2018
4)
The party of adventurers watched him dwindle into the distance, then looked at the wagon bulging with wares that the goblin had left behind.
The warrior shrugged and picked up the fallen broadsword.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 4, 2018
5)
“Rusty old blade with a glamor on it to hide its sorry condition,” he judged. “Highroad robber, that’s what he is.”
“Goblin,” the wizard pointed out, then spun around in time to snap at the thief ere a tragedy ensued.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 4, 2018
6)
“GOBLIN! Don’t eat ANYTHING on that wagon!”
“Oh,” said the thief. “So goblin traders are like human ones; is that what you’re telling me?”
“Yes,” the wizard sighed. “Oh, yes.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 4, 2018
1)
“Cauldron, cauldron, boil and bubble,” the hooded hag muttered, “Show me nearest adventurer trouble, on the double!”
The boiling water promptly turned slick and smooth. And displayed words.
The hag peered.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 3, 2018
2)
“Now streaming on another channel,” she read aloud. “Only three silver a month….bah! Bloody ads!” She slapped the side of the cauldron.
It burped and starting showing her Darty the Dimpled Dragon reruns again.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 3, 2018
3)
She shrugged and settled down to munch her way through a sack of goblin knucklebones. Some days, there were just no adventurers to spy on, anywhere nearby. Truly, civilization continued its slow slide and totter…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 3, 2018
1)
“That,” the bard they’d hired as a guide said grandly, “is the Fortress Unvanquishable.”
The party eyed the distant soaring stone spires dubiously. “And does the vampire lord still live there?”
The bard shrugged.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 2, 2018
2)
“He calls himself a blood donor technician these days, but that’s probably just for the king’s tax collectors. Just as I’m no longer a bard, but a wedding and funeral entertainer.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 2, 2018
3)
“Ah,” growled the dwarf, “then we and yon batfangs should get along fine. I’m a veteran tax collector culler, myself.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) July 2, 2018
