1)
“Well, now that the dead mother dragon’s been carted off to the kitchens to be turned into feasts for the next SIX MONTHS, and someone’s had to good sense to cart the three FED dragonets off to the mountains to be reared…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
3)
aafely FAR from here,” said the Lord High Chamberlain, with a rising anger spurred on by his still-smarting backside where blood had too recently been drawn, “WHY isn’t this table SET, yet? What unforeseen calamity has…#epic fantasy…prevented your expertise with goblets and trenchers from being visited upon yon gleaming board, hmm?”
“Er, the goblets, Lord. We can’t get to them, Lord.”
“Oh? You have forgotten the way, perchance? Or has ANOTHER dragon…#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
4)
…prevented your expertise with goblets and trenchers from being visited upon yon gleaming board, hmm?”
“Er, the goblets, Lord. We can’t get to them, Lord.”
“Oh? You have forgotten the way, perchance? Or has ANOTHER dragon dropped in on us unheralded and JUST HAPPENED to block the door you need to pass through?”
“No, Lord. It’s the mushrooms, Lord.”
“The MUSHROOMS. Ah, of course! The mushrooms—WHAT MUSHROOMS?”
“Let me explain, Lord!”
“Please DO!”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
6)
…“The monster mushrooms, Lord. They’re calling them that because they’re what the Seneschal calls ‘aggressive ambulatory fungi,’ Lord. That is, they’ll fight you.”
“Fight ME? And just why do you suppose I’ll be having anything at all to do with them?”
“You’re the Lord High Chamberlain, Lord. And the Palace proper is your domain, as you remind us daily. And the mushrooms have taken over the Castle dungeons and are now on the ground floor.”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
8)
“Taking it over room by room,” the other footman added helpfully. “One of those rooms being the Chamber of All Goblets. Hence the lack of table setting.”
The Lord High Chamberlain pounced “And being as we get trenchers from the bakery,” he said triumphantly, “WHY did you not at least place the trenchers?”
“The mushrooms took over the bakery, too, Lord. And the bakers.”
The Lord High Chamberlain knew despair.#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
9)
“And being as we get trenchers from the bakery,” he said triumphantly, “WHY did you not at least place the trenchers?”
“The mushrooms took over the bakery, too, Lord. And the bakers.”
The Lord High Chamberlain knew despair. “Must I do everything MYSELF?”
“You often ask us that, Lord. And the answer remains: if you want it done right, YES.”
“But…what shall I do?”
“You’re the Lord High Chamberlain!” came the happy chorus. You’ll think of something!”#epic fantasy— Ed Greenwood (@TheEdVerse) August 9, 2018
